Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Preparing for Marriage: Faith and Discipleship in Marriage

Faith and Discipleship in Marriage

"For some young people, however, the thoughts of becoming ready for marriage, finding someone to marry, and making a marriage work evoke fears and concerns. Given the prevalence of these types of fears about dating and marriage, the starting point for becoming ready for marriage is to develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His divine plan for marriage and families. In 1 Nephi 3:7 we read, "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." Although this scripture is not typically viewed as a marriage-preparation scripture, its principles are applicable to the modern dating context. Through young adults' faithfulness, the Lord endows them with what they need in order to live His divine plan of happiness. As young adults strive to become the people our Father in Heaven  wants them to become, they will increase their readiness for marriage in the future. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (2003, p. 8) has taught:
Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril."

Friday, June 12, 2015

Preparing for Marriage- Getting Ahead Before Getting Wed

Getting Ahead Before Getting Wed

"The central responsibilities of adulthood in the past generations centered on caring for one's spouse, providing for a family, and nurturing children-all of which involve duties toward others. For the most part, the new markers of adulthood carry a theme of personal independence and self-reliance. Coupled with a sense of pessimism about their chances for marital success, many young people now see their young adult years as a time to pursue their personal interests and become independent financially. Simply put, the emerging adult culture today encourages young people to "get ahead before getting wed" and to be careful not to let marriage alter or interrupt one's educational and career plans."

Discussing this matter, Elder Richard G. Scott said, "If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life. Young men, serve a worthy mission. Then make your highest priority finding a worthy, eternal companion. When you find you are developing an interest in a young woman, show her that you are an exceptional person that she would find interesting to know better. Take her to places that are worthwhile. Show some ingenuity. If you want to have a wonderful wife, you need to have her see you as a wonderful man and prospective husband."



 https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-eternal-blessings-of-marriage?lang=eng
 Bibliography: Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Preparing for Marriage- Pessimism About Marriage

Pessimism About Marriage

"Pessimism about marriage and wariness of divorce among emerging adults is creating a culture of divorce preparation rather than a culture of marriage preparation. The emerging ethic of marriage preparation appears to be: "When you are ready to get divorced, you are ready to get married." In this context, "single life" is not only becoming a permissable period of emerging adults, but it is also regarded by some as a necessary period before a young person is ready to settle down and get married. Many emerging adults believe that they will be ready for marriage only when they are finished being single. In a recent study, more than half of young adults today rank having "fully experienced the single life" as an important criterion to achieve before getting married (Carroll, Badger, Willoughby, Nelson, Madsen, & Barry, 2009)."

Are you preparing yourself for divorce or for marriage? Do you think that you must "fully experience the single life" before getting married? Why or why not?

Here is a wonderful talk by Elder F. Burton Howard on Eternal Marriage:
 https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2003/04/eternal-marriage?lang=eng


Bibliography: Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.