Traditional Dating is Endangered

Traditional Dating is Endangered

Given the messages young people are receiving from the broader culture, and even at times from their families and friends, it is not surprising that many Latter-day Saint young adults are confused, afraid to make commitments, and too often turning to the patterns of the world. Similar to young people in the broader culture, Latter-day Saint young adults today must date and marry in a dating culture that lacks strong norms, rituals, and relationship milestones to guide young people to marriage. Traditional dating is the most endangered part of the modern context of dating. Because of this, our prophetic leaders in recent years have warned society and have counseled them to follow a divinely directed approach to dating and courtship.

Elder Dallin H Oaks (2006) gave a landmark talk on this subject at a CES fireside. He encouraged young people to date rather than hang out. Dating involves planning ahead and pairing off. He urged young men to summon their courage and initiate dating. He counseled young women to be supportive by encouraging simple and inexpensive dates that foster greater frequency of dating. Above all, Elder Oaks encouraged young adults to resist cultural trends indicating that there are only two kinds of dating- hanging out or exclusive dating. Specifically, he counseled young adults to engage in traditional dating patterns that can lead to exclusive dating, engagement, and marriage."

 Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Successful marriages and families. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.